Five Things You Can Say At A Social Event

I finally got to my emails, and the e-newsletter from ChrisBrogan.com had some great tips. As I find myself going to various social networking events to help extend my tech-network while also getting to know people who are in the same industry. At any rate, I can see where Chris is coming from with his chosen topic: I often find that people (myself included) can feel a little awkward in a crowded room of people they don’t know as opposed to speaking to the same amount of people online. So, I’m doing my duty and re-posting.

Five Things You Can Say At a Social Event

It turns out that lots of people still don’t know what to do or how to connect at face to face social events (like conferences or meetups or family parties). I’ve got a few spins on what’s normally said, and how you can navigate those socially challenging waters. If you’re stuck for what to say to someone to start a conversation, here are five suggestions. Pick one or two that work for you and practice them.

1. “So, what are you into when you’re not hanging out at social events like this?” I use a variation on this often. It lets the person talk about themselves without asking the dreaded, “What do you do?” (I loathe that question. My answer? “I type.”)
2. “Do you ever wonder what Adam West is doing right now? Me neither.” A non sequitur accomplishes a few things. It sets a level of the other person’s sense of humor, their pop culture knowledge, and many other things. Just replace “Adam West” with whatever fringe character you want to use to identify what the person might share in common with you.
3. “I’m always unsure what to say at events like this, so I thought I’d start with ‘hi.’” You can’t get much simpler than this. It lets the other person know you feel just a hair awkward, but it’s straightforward and direct, and lets them know you’re hoping to say a few things. Follow this up with, “I’d love to know more about what you’re into.”
4. “You look like the kind of person who has a different opinion than the mainstream. What’s your take on this so far?” This sets yourself up for talking with the kinds of people who always offer the biggest value to your perspective.
5. “What were you doing three years ago?” This one sets a person back a moment. They tend to either answer with a wistful smile or a guarded “who wants to know?” You learn something from this exchange, too.

Note that in all cases, I didn’t ask what someone does. I didn’t ask about the weather. I didn’t give them yes or no answers (except in #2, and that’s a trick), and I didn’t let you stay stale. The goal is to get past the awkward and into the meat. Weather is not an option. “Hot enough for you?” is the kiss of social death.

What do you think? Do you have any others you like to use? How hard is it for you to try something out of the box like this?